So we are wife beating for the holidays. Instead of a Charlie Brown Christmas, I guess Charlie’s wife Brooke is having a Charlie Black and Blue Christmas. TMZ reported that Brooke was retardedly drunk when the incident occurred. I am sure that Charlie had good reason to do whatever he did. She must have exaggerated whatever he did to her to the police as she is now refusing to cooperate and press charges. Brooke probably has some “Daddy Issues” and gets cranky around Christmas, so she took it out on Charlie. Her blood alcohol level was .13, where Charlie’s was .04 suprisingly. He said in his report that she was the aggressor and he was just trying to defend himself. I believe him. Here is a pic of Charlie’s mugshot, and the once happy drunken couple.
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“I’d rather have my testicles spread wafer thin, and then sort of pasted with honey, and then have wasps unleashed at my own genitals, and then I’d like the resulting stings to be covered in vinegar, and sort of warn as a swimming cap by a Nazi.”
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