Stank-O-Meter (4.5/5)

You’re CRAZY is you liked The Crazies.  What  a suckfest!  This movie was absolutely awful.  No wonder that Timothy Olyphant was the leading star….No one with any decent or natural ability would have signed on to do this piece of shit.  Joining him in this retarded remake are Danielle Panabaker, Radha Mitchell, and Joe Anderson.  You might be thinking, who are these people?? Radha Mitchell has been in almost all shitty movies.  Danielle Panabaker is pretty new to the acting scene, pretty easy on the eyes,  and she actually played a decent part.   Joe Anderson, who I have never seen before, played the best part in the entire movie as the Deputy Sheriff.  Timothy Oyphant was not believable at all.  He  was actually good in Deadwood on HBO but I think that Ian Mcshane, who played Al Swearengen, carried the whole show on his back.

Anyway, back to this waste of film.  Right now, this film has an IMDB rating of 7.4.  Who the hell is giving this thing positive reviews? I wouldn’t highly recommend staying home rather than going to see this.  I had free movie tickets via a  Cablevision Reward Card, and that is the only reason that I went to see I this.   It was between this and Wolfman, and I watched 15 minutes of Wolfman on a bootleg and didn’t find that to be anything special, so I chose this shit heap.  I’m just thankful I didn’t have to pay to see this shitstain on the underpants of film making.  Check out some pics below of the ho’s in this crap, including Radha Mitchell full frontal nudity and Olyphant looking a tard after (more…)

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Shutter Island was well thought, well written, and directed movie.   I would have to say that it is the best movie I have seen in 2010, maybe even 2009 as well.  I really enjoyed it.  Leonardo DiCaprio definitely deserves an Oscar for his performance and Mark Ruffalo and Ben Kinglsey deserve “nods’ at the least for Supporting Actor.  Michelle Williams plays Leo’s hot wife.   She looks great, and does a great job with her part as well.  The movie really makes you think a bunch of different things, at least I did, and I wasn’t right about any of them.  I would compare this movies “fooled you power”  be almost as great as the one in “The Usual Suspects” and “The Sixth Sense”.  If you liked either of those films, then you will love this one.  Check out some screencaps from Shutter as well as some Michelle Williams topless pics below after (more…)

The new Nightmare On Elm Street actually looks pretty good to me.  It’s hard to make a remake of a horror film like this one, just ask Rob Zombie.  The first Halloween remake he did, I really liked.  I liked how they went back and showed how FN nutso Michael Myers was when he was a child and the kid that they got to play him was awesome.  He looked so god dam psychotic!    The second one, not so much. Either way, I am excited for the Nightmare On Elm Street Remake. Check out the trailer below.

I think the cast looks to be pretty well set even though there are really no big stars.  Rooney Mara and Katie Cassidy who is hot as hell lead the cast for the women. Connie Britton the hot MILF from Friday Night Lights plays Nancy (Mara’s) mother.  The best for me is Dukes from Semi-Pro,  Jackie Earl Haley as Freddy.  He kind of does look like Freddy Krueger (not as much as John Locke from Lost) but I am sure he will do a good job with the part as he was great in Shutter Island.  The poor bastard is so ugly to begin with, I don’t think he will need much make up!  Check out some pictures of the cast for the new Nightmare On Elm Street after (more…)

Stank-O-Meter (3.5/5)

Here is a picture of Lady Gaga and her sloppy vagina.  I guess she wants to show the Papa, Paparazzi her Sloppa,  Sloppa Crotchy.   This is nothing new for Lady Gaga.  I think her vagina is like a kid in third grade that just got out of school, it just wants to come out and play.  The above  picture is from a concert or something she did in London.  Her music is actually pretty decent, very catchy, but sometimes really annoying.  She really does not have a pretty face, and her tits looks like something that comes with bacon and eggs at IHOP.   It looks as if Lady Gaga has eaten out a few girls in her day also.    Rumor had it she was a hermaphrodite, but we can see here there was no penis on her, just a sloppy vajajay.  Here are some more pictures of Lady Gaga’s wardrobe malfunctions, flapjack tits, alien nipples, and her vagina flapping in the wind like a kite on the beach after (more…)

So who is possessing John Locke on Lost?  WHO KNOWS???  The show is really feeding us a shit sandwich since this season started.  First off, if you go and search for Lost blogs, you see how many people are describing what they think is happening.  It’s like predicting the weather, nobody really knows what the hell is going to happen.  Last night on the show, the whole episode consisted of John Locke taking Sawyer to see this cave where everyone’s name was written on a wall by Jacob.  What the hell is that??? Below is an interview on Michael Emerson on Jimmy Kimmel.  He doesn’t even know what is going to happen.

Emerson said they still have four episodes left to film and he has no idea how it is going to end.   Supposedly, Matthew Fox who plays Jack, is the only person that knows what is going to happen.  The writers and producers did that so nothing about the show leaks out.  Want to know who John Locke really is?  I know who he is.  He is the closest living human that looks like Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare On Elm Street.  I think this is all a dream and John Locke will come out in the last episode with a glove with knives on the end of it and kill everyone while they are sleeping.  Isn’t there an Elm Street on the island?

Here is Kelly Osbourne looking HOT!  She looks like a mix between Paris Hilton, Tiffani Amber Thiessen, and Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  I guess being on Dancing With The Stars got her ass in gear and to the gym.  She actually looks like a real human being, nonetheless an actual Hollywood Starlet.  DWTS should recruit Kirstey Alley and maybe she could undergo the same transformation.   Her boobs really shrunk, but I am sure that won’t be the case for long.  One trip to the surgeon and it’ll be back to having some nice cans.  While she is getting her boob job,  I really dislike the two skulls she has tattooed on her feet, maybe she will read this and get them removed.  She needs to either wear shoes to cover them or get them laser removed.  But maybe she doesn’t want to shed her trashbag image totally just yet, either way Kelly, lookin good!  We all remember what you used to look like!

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Rumor has it that Adam Lambert was going to have little Justin Bieber sleep over his house.   Do I smell a new Michael Jackson in the making?   Probably not as supposedly it was Justin’s Idea.  With Adam’s current status as a raging butt pirate I don’t foresee it as a good idea that he spend the night.  If he did Adam might put a little make up on him and have him  looking like some of the photos below.

Well I hope for Justin’s sake that he has a great time and doesn’t get too glittered and Glamberted.  Here is a video below of Adam and Justin backstage at Jingle Ball. Adam is showing him how to glitter himself and do some kind of gay handshake.  Creepy.  I’d make a run for it Justin!

Adam,  here’s a little Bieber for you!

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This guy Andrew Fenlon was a real asshole.  He looked like Clark Kent mixed with Dexter’s serial killer brother.  Kara proceeded to tell him that she didn’t like him  because he was cocky and impatient.  Menawhile, Simon almost kicked him out of the audition before he even sang.  Once he did sing, I thought he was actually pretty good.  If he wasn’t such a douchebag, I think they may have sent him to Hollywood.  I would watch out for this guy going to my limo if I were any of  the judges.  I wouldn’t be suprised if Kara started receving death threats written in cut out newspaper clippings.  Psycho!

In other Idol news, Pat Ford is definitely not a Womanizer.  This was the funniest audition of the night.   This kid needs to go and take lessons from William Hung. HOLLER!

(4/5)

So Kid Rock, I mean Jennifer Aniston came back from somewhere to go and promote her Yoga instructors video… I hope she didn’t go dressed like that.  She really must be in a rut dressing like that.  I liked her as a rocker chick like in Rock Star with Marky Mark.  Maybe she was going for the incognito look so she doesn’t get harassed.  Guess what, that didn’t work either.  They still found ya Jen. Who knows, either way I don’t like it.  Here’s a pic of the Jen we all drooled over.

This sounds interesting. I think I will call the Guinness Book of World Records and see how many vaginas one woman has had.  I guess if she has a kid, it would be like picking whether you want to take the Holland Tunnel or the Lincoln Tunnel.  Either way I am sure the baby won’t hit any traffic unless she’s  in a “jam”.    She gives new meaning to the term “double fisting”.  I would have a lot of questions if  I was doing her.  Should I just use one?  Should I  switch it up during and go back and forth?  Should I alternate days?  Should I stick my foot in the other one?  Anyway, maybe she will answer some of those questions on Friday’s show.  Her name is Lauren Williams and here are some quotes from the upcoming show:

Lauren Williams: “I’ve got two uteruses. Just one to each (fallopian tube), then they go down to two cervixes, and then it did go down to the two vaginas.” Williams, who was diagnosed with two vaginas when she was 25-years-old, also believes she has 2 periods.

Lauren Williams: “I think so because my periods generally last about 21 days…When I was a teenager I had really heavy periods…I would have to change pads every hour.” Tyra also questions Williams on her ability to have children and was amazed by her answer.

I guess the whole 21 day period would make her boyfriend, if she can keep one with all that PMS, pretty aggravated, unless only one of them had the “red stop sign” at a time.  I never watch Tyra, but this should be an interesting one.  I will DVR that.  And can you guess the rating, I give it two hard ones, one for each hole.

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